As a child, I used to hate the rain. To my sister and I, it meant no outdoor playtime. No running in the park. No...
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Everyone, I’m elated to tell you that Tumblr will be joining Yahoo.
Before touching on how awesome this is, let me try to allay any concerns:...
I have this inherent need to be in control, although sometimes it borders on obsessive-compulsive levels. I don’t like losing control. I like it when I do things by the book; the way they are meant to be done.
Ironically, I have this desire or fantasy to be dominated; a sort of beta male to an alpha female kind of relationship. I want to learn how to let loose and be submissive. I want to be able to let myself go every once in a while; to submit, to go with the flow, to be free.
I want to lose control for the girl that I will fall for. For me that is love: to let go of all inhibitions, to lose control, and to willfully submit to the emotion. That longing feeling of defying everything else in the world for that one person, that is what I crave.
Until such time that I find her, I will be in control.
This is my confession.
I liked her. I possibly even loved her. I did not acknowledge it at the time, but I did. I guess I was sort of afraid that I was.
We met online. She actually talked to me first. I guess it’s in her nature to be that bubbly. But nevertheless, after that first chat, things progressed, albeit slowly. We’d spend hours sending messages, posting blogs, and even one-sided bullying. As days pass, we grew closer and got to know each other better.
When we finally met in person, I was a bit suspicious at first. The term ‘catfish’ wasn’t coined yet but I sort of felt that maybe all of the things she said wasn’t true. I couldn’t have been more wrong. She was as she said she was and more. She was a true person and I liked that about her.
We hung out about a couple more times. All while still keeping in touch with each other on a daily basis. My friends kept asking me at the time who I fancied since it was obvious that my mood was lighter than usual. I kept silent about it but what they mentioned stirred me up a bit.
I tested myself. I tried to remove her from my world and push her as far away as possible. It didn’t take me long before I started longing for her presence. That was the tipping point. I realized that I liked her, possibly even loved her.
It’s been about two years and some months since I’ve let the thought go. I guess I just wanted to finally let it out. I do not regret not making a move but what I do regret is letting the friendship drift apart.